Cinema Cinema - Part 2

When asked why he makes films, Woody Allen had once famously said, “My films are therapy for my debilitating depression. In institutions people weave baskets. I make films.” I think, in a way, it’s more or less true for Indian audience too. We are unique in a sense that we are so hopelessly addicted to cinema that it is no more just a form of entertainment. It has become part of our life. I remember how my uncle and my grandfather would argue ferociously over who should be called the best actor of all time. My uncle, a diehard Amitabh fan, could never reach a consensus with my grandpa - who had always thought of Amitabh as being hugely overrated. In his opinion, Dilip Kumar was miles ahead of Amitabh, who just happened to be slightly better than his substandard contemporaries. In normal circumstances, I would be made a scapegoat in their fight. My grandpa would lecture me for hours on how Dilip Kumar had managed to inspire the whole generation in late 50s. Obviously my uncle could not tolerate ill-treatment given to Mr. Bachchan and I would find myself dutifully listening to the success stories of Sholay and legendary dialogues of Deewar.

During my early teens, there used to be a lot of talk about New Wave Cinema - the cinema that apparently offered something new. I was totally ignorant of any such films. (I still am !!) So one day I asked one of my friend who was a self-proclaimed film-buff about this so-called new wave and his answer puzzled me even more. "New wave cinema is essentially a befitting gratification of our emotions with subtle undertones of solitude shining like a beacon in this malevolent and spiteful society of ours " So for days I was living under the impression that any incomprehensible film would fall under the category of new wave !!!

My father was very proud when he learned that I wanted to be a police officer. He finally felt that I was probably not a bum that he had initially thought of. The reason for this inspired choice was, of course, Salman Khan. The Salman Khan era of Wanteds and Dabbangs was a revelation and I would find myself dancing before a mirror on the tunes of “Udd Udd Dabbang” flaunting my 6 pack (?) abs. Wearing “Being Human” shirts was the new definition of coolness in schools and colleges. (One of my friend- an avid Salman fan himself, once told me that wearing such T-shirts would give me a new societal outlook and that this was the new fashion trend for all wannabe social workers). I finally decided to follow Salman’s inspiring (?) footsteps and announced the intentions to join the Police duty. My mother was so exuberant that to me it almost seemed like I was on my way to achieve Bravery medals. But as it turned out that the system in our country was so regressive that some stupid rules on passing the irrelevant physical fitness, IQ and GK tests saw the nation missing a dutiful, brave and intelligent police officer (I so pity you people – forced to watch the perils of CID. Sadly that’s the price you got to pay for not having an eye for real talent).

And as you must have realized, my life is about few hits and rather plenty of misses. I wonder what would have happened had everything gone according to the plan. But one thing is for sure if it were not cinema, I wouldn’t have been where I am right now. I hope it pretty much explains the reason why I turned out to be like this !!

P.S. - I generally work on the premises that the readers are intelligent enough to tell the difference between reality and fiction. But if anyone is really that stupid not to tell the difference this is to clarify that this post is  fictitious. But then what is real anyway?