गधा और गधी की प्रेमकहानी

Hello guys... Below-written poem is an amazing piece of art with strong political connotations and undertones. I would like to clarify that it's NOT written by me. The poet is none other than Piyush Mishra who is also an excellent actor, music composer and writer. His work in Gulal earned him a lot of praise. Also his book on Bhagat Singh inspired the critically acclaimed, Ajay Devgan starrer "The Legend of Bhagat Singh." I thought it's definitely worth sharing. Hope you will like it..

एक बार गधी ने पूछा के, ओ गधे, इशक करता  है ,
मैं  जानू  पक्का  तू  मुझको  घूरे, मुझपे मरता  है ,

तो  गधे की तो  भाई  खुली  lottery  बोला  मेरी  जानम ,
तू  एक  हुकुम  दे , कदमो  पे  तेरे  मर  जाऊ  हर  दम ,
तो  गधी  ये  बोली,  नहीं  मैं  पहले  Biodata लुंगी ,
मैं  thought करूंगी  उसपर  तब  ही line clear मैं  दूंगी ,

तो  गधा  ये  बोला  biodata तो  मेरा  है ऐसा ,
के  फट  जाये  हा  बड़े  बड़ो  के अटम बम  के  जैसा ,
मैं  पाया  जाता,  चरता  हु  हरे  मैदानों  के  अंदर ,
और  साथ  parliament की  हर  एक  सीट  के  बैठा  ऊपर ,
मिली  जुली  सरकार  बनाता  और  गधो  को  लेकर ,
फिर  झाड  दुल्लात्ती झगडा  करता  आपस  में  रोरोकर ,
IAS भी  मैं  हु  आज  का  IPS भी  मैं  हु ,
और  देश  चलते  इन  मदारियो  का  circus भी  मैं  हु ,
मैं  हर  दूजे  दिन  नयी  पार्टी  को  declare करता ,
पर  by god constitution की  कसम  मैं  तुझपे   मरता..

तो  गधी  ने  दी  एक  broad smile...

और  बोली  यु  भलका  कर ,

Honeymoon मनाएंगे  इंडिया  गेट पे  जाकर ,
उन  मरे  जवानों  को  देंगे  सलामी  जो  बस  ऐसे  ही  कट  गए ,
जो  आँख  मूँद  कर  एक अरब  आबादी  में  से  घट  गए ,
फिर  मैं  कट  लुंगी  high command auditorium को  बस ,
और  तू  कट  लेना  राष्ट्रपति  भवन  राजपथ  होकर ,
और  health की  थोड़ी  सोच  ज़रा  तू  calorie तो  ले  आ ,
६४  साल  हुए  आजादी  के  कुछ  memory  तो  ले  आ ..

मुल्क  की  लेली  भैय्या ,
बात  अलबेली  भैय्या  ,
मुल्क  की  लेली  भैय्या ........

- Piyush Mishra

On a Serious Note.....

It's all happening in last few weeks. Even for a vigilant citizen, it's quite tiresome to comprehend everything happening on the national front. The issue of corruption has really stirred the whole of India. First, Baba Ramdev is attacked, Anna condemns, Government tries to justify their point and then Anna threatens to go on a fast again...so on and so forth. A lot has already been discussed on this issue and I have no intention to bring the "who's right and who's wrong" thing again into focus.

Amidst all this hullabaloo, practically no-one knew about Swami Nigamanand until he died. His fast for an equally important issue of pollution in Ganga and stone quarries, went unnoticed and when he took his last breath, everybody (including me) suddenly realized the gravity of the situation. Now that rounds of accusations and blame have begun, the main issue has already taken the backseat. The usual procedures of inquiry will now follow and corrective measures will hopefully be taken. Yet one cannot undermine the fact that while all supported the fight against corruption, we were and are clueless about many such small fights on going in this country. (Just a few days back Abhay Deol had raised the issue of Irom Chanu Sharmila’s hunger strike.) Not only that even so called vigilant media has done nothing regarding them. All TV news channels were busy taking the interviews of Anna and Baba, none of them had a time to focus on such "trivial" causes. So, one cannot expect that a common man would know about that.

I don't expect that a guy living in suburb of Mumbai going on a fast or participating in a movement with zest against the issue of say coal mines in Dhanbad, nobody does. But the fact is we Indians have a quite a high emotional quotient. A relatively convenient and obviously glamorous issue of corruption attracts us today because we are emotionally charged up now. Nothing bad in that. But essentially glamor fascinates us. That's why even the so-called socially relevant films in "Bollywood" have one or two item numbers as a need of the script.

We have firmly made up in our mind that all these politicians are corrupt and they are responsible for the underdevelopment. Partly, it's true. But we are the people who elected these politicians. And honestly, how many of us can say they are the ones with honesty and integrity and haven't bribed a single rupee to Hawaldar when they were caught not wearing helmet? These small things actually lead to bigger scams. As we discuss how the rich is exploiting the poor, on the other side we are the ones who lobby for a 2BHK flat to the same builder who has built a building on a poor man's place. So much of hypocrisy!! Why can't I start from myself? It would be foolish to believe that once the Lokpal bill is passed, India will become corruption-free because ultimately it's not going to change our mindset. I am not saying that this fight is meaningless. It definitely deserves support. But there are so many issues that we conveniently and deliberately decide to ignore - what about that? I doubt how many people would care to join if tomorrow someone steps up and says "Let's stop gender-bias." Many would say that such thing doesn't exist in our society. Primarily because it's unacceptable for so many "common" husbands in even the biggest cities, let alone villages, if their wives start earning more money than they do. 33% reservation for women has become a farce.  It becomes an ego issue for many "Men" when they see a successful woman. Same is true with religion. I don't understand how bathing in Ganga will cleanse one's soul when it is the dirtiest river on this earth. But our religious sentiments are conveniently hurt when someone asks Sadhus to stop peeing and pooping in Ganga.

When we blame politicians, it's also important to keep in mind they are nothing but the reflection of our society. If we want them to stop being two-faced, we better stop keeping double standards. On a lighter note, I have decided to go on a huger strike against my parents as I want increase in my pocket money. As I hear the whispers, my mother doesn't mind that....

So-called Good things about me and How they are absolutely Useless (Part 1)

“I believe that in order to walk through grief, fear, loneliness, despair, confusion and anger without recourse to drugs, alcohol, over-eating, over-sexing, or the endless mind-numbing distractions provided by Western culture, one must become a spiritual warrior. I further believe that the pay-off for enduring suffering, for soberly embracing the inevitable bouts of emotional pain that life brings, is wisdom and serenity in the face of calamity.” (Ref- Chuck Lorre Production #210) 

Now before you come to any hasty conclusions and start believing that reading this blog is a sheer waste  of time (which anyway you are going to realize is true…jokes apart !!), I must tell you that it’s not true. This is precisely because I have an innate ability to sense the exact moment when people start feeling annoyed. Some skeptics say that this famous ability of me precedes to my infamous ability to annoy people. But I don’t agree with them in public. Do I agree in private? No comments. People do all sort of things in private. I even hear that Baba Ramdev, in private, has expressed a desire to become the captain of Indian Cricket Team and if his demands are not met he will go on a fast. You see that. Once you decide to adopt democracy and accept the freedom of everything, nothing remains private. What an irony!!!

 Coming to the point, the very purpose of writing this article is to be self reflective and find the inner peace of mind. BURN!!! Nothing of that sort. I was just kidding. But didn’t that scare the hell out of you? So as I was saying, after numerous surveys, countless interviews and rigorous studies, experts have come to an inference that there indeed are good things about me. (You can imagine how hard that was. It was a task even harder than finding a good Nicholas Cage movie). The same skeptics might point out that the number of good things about me is so small that it can only be compared with the number of Upen Patel fans. But that hardly matters. For a man (namely Sumit) living in the darkness with no hope (Load shading… can’t help!!), even a small ray of light would have sufficed to give him a new spirit. But the spirit died just after it was born. After giving a thought for a very long time (precisely 5 minutes) I realized that how worthless are the so-called good thing about me.

Let’s discuss them one by one.

• Sense of humor

You don’t call that a good quality, do you? I certainly don’t. As experts say 42% of people voted for that. Others just texted LOL (It’s true, fellas. No kidding). Guys, let me tell you the truth. Its usefulness is as apparent as the central government’s willpower (?) to fight against corruption. For all those who read women’s magazines and think that girls are always looking for a guy with a great sense of humor like zombies, trust me you know nothing about girls. Look at me. If it helps, your sense of humor will certainly help you to get rid of your irritating girlfriend.  Besides, my innate ability to crack jokes (I know most of them are bad… no need to remind me) has only lead me to difficult situations. So this one is gone.

• Attitude (More precisely my political correctness)

    Guys, I know it's a very sensitive issue, even more sensitive than Nepal-Bhutan ties. My experience says     that the world is divided into 2 sets of people. First set includes people who know nothing about attitude but boast about having an attitude. And the second set includes people who also know nothing about attitude but just remain politically correct. Psychologists consider both these sets in the same category because they themselves know nothing about it. I belong to 2nd set. Ideally I should have been in a comfortable position owing to my ability to say sweet things just about everything. But the hurdle is that I mess up in trying to be too correct and people think that I am making fun of them. My diplomatic nature a.k.a. lack of attitude a.k.a my inability to think on my own has lead me to slavery, only my masters keep changing with time. At times, I have tried to "show" attitude. But the skeptics trashed me saying my self-righteousness was completely misplaced.(Help!!)

  

Before moving to the next one, I have to stop here. There are a few more to follow. I have already bored you a lot. But I hope that you people will give me plenty of opportunities to do the same in the future as well. Also hopefully in the course of time, our bonds of friendship, love and affection will get tighter than even those between Gopinath Munde and Nitin Gadkari. (Oops…) Now it’s time to say goodbye. Take care.

P.S. - Criticism of any sort - healthy, unhealthy or even anemic for that matter is welcome.